Of Pink Hair And Spring Rolls
by Souffles In Space
Summary: Wally plus hair dye plus stress makes a very angry Artemis. / Silly one-shot based on a headcanon; rated T for strong language. EDIT: translations added.


**Disclaimer:** Don't own, probably never will (though I can hope), and I am making no profit.

**Summary:** Wally plus hair dye plus stress makes a very angry Artemis. Silly one-shot based on a headcanon; rated T for strong language.

**Rating:** T for coarse language.

**Pairing/s:** Very very very minor Spitfire. Really, if you don't ship them it shouldn't get in the way unless you are extremely picky.

**A/N:** Aha. So...here you go. Something based off of a random little headcanon I have. With thanks to shadowsong123 on Tumblr for helping me with Vietnamese words; kyd-the-wykkyd on Tumblr for giving me a title and il-labirinto on Tumblr for...er, _trying_ to come up with a title.

**EDIT:** Fixed a few typos, pointed out to me by Ninetailsjinx, and juggled a few sentences around so that it, hopefully, flows better.

**Warning:** Google Translate has been used extensively. Please feel free to point out where foreign dialogue is incorrect so that I can correct it.

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**Of Pink Hair and Spring Rolls  
****~YJ~**

"_**BAYWATCH!**_"

Artemis' scream echoed impressively through the halls and rooms of Mt. Justice – in the kitchen, M'gann squealed, the cake she'd been carefully levitating crashing to the floor in an explosion of vanilla glory, Zatanna leaping quickly out of range; in the living room, Conner suddenly yelled and clutched his sensitive, Kryptonian ears; Kaldur, distracted, misjudged a step, allowing Robin to sweep a leg beneath him and send him to the floor of the training room; Wally choked on his chicken leg, coughing and spluttering dramatically, clutching the edge of the kitchen tabletop.

Zatanna blinked. "...Wally, what did you _do_?"

"_**WALLY, YOU ARE GOING TO PAY FOR THIS ONE!**_"

Inexplicably, a tiny smirk began to curl the corners of Wally's lips. Zatanna narrowed her eyes at him and went to speak – but any words were lost the second Artemis stormed into the room.

Artemis was swaddled in a dressing gown, obviously having just stepped out of the Cave showers. Water dripped from her, pooling at her bare feet. Her expression was _livid_, eyes wide, teeth gritted, a vein throbbing at her temple. In her left hand, she clutched an open shampoo bottle; her right was clenched into a fist, the tendons standing out beneath the skin.

And her tangled, waist-length, damp hair was electric pink.

Zatanna's eyes popped out of her head, mouth hanging open. "Artemis, what the hell happened to your _hair_?"

"Ask _him_!" Artemis snapped, jabbing a finger at Wally, who promptly started to snigger behind his hand. "_It's not funny!_"

"What's not funny?" Robin entered the room, with Kaldur close on his heel. Robin glanced at Artemis - and cackled.

"I dunno, Arty," Wally teased, "I think pink hair suits you."

Artemis seethed. "_This is __**your**__ fault, Kid Idiot!_"

"Hey, hey, Arty! Relax!" Wally held up his palms in a gesture of peace, his amused smirk becoming a nervous one and beads of sweat appearing on his forehead. "I, uh...how do you even know it's me...?"

"_Because it's written all over your smug little face, __**jackass**__!_"

Snarling, Artemis raised the shampoo bottle and began to beat Wally repeatedly over the head with it.

"_Ow, __**ow**__, OW!_" Startled, Wally shielded his head with his arms. "I-it was just a joke! Honest! Artemis, that _hurts_!"

"_I hope it hurt! How the hell'm I supposed to go to school like this, huh? Did you think of __**that**__? No! You're just -_" Artemis tossed the bottle aside, gripping her fuschia hair at the scalp. "_You – you **lo dit**!_"

Wally blinked. "Er...I what?"

"You idiot! _Chet tiet_, Wally!" She stamped her bare foot emphatically. "Do you know how _cứt_ my week has been? First with – with Jade _rối tung với cuộc sống của tôi_ and _mẹ là tức giận_ when I haven't done a single damned thing, no, I'm a model _sinh viên_ but _cô __**vẫn**__ tìm thấy một cái gì đó để chỉ trích!_"

The Team gaped, any humour having disappeared and been replaced with pure shock as Artemis spouted what sounded, to most of them, like a stream of nonsense.

"Um," Wally began to protest, "Artemis..."

"And now – _này_! You _thang cho day đã đi làm_ – _**this**_!" She gripped her hair again, red-faced. "_Tôi đã là_ the scholarship kid, but now - _bây giờ họ sẽ làm cho niềm vui của tôi, bởi vì tóc của tôi là màu hồng! __**Do khon nang**__!_"

With a final yell, Artemis turned on her heel and stormed out of the room and down the corridor. In the distance, they heard the decisive _slam!_ of a door.

There was a beat of stunned silence.

"_It...it'll wash out easy..._" Wally mumbled weakly, eventually, a dazed look on his face.

"Uh...Wally?" M'gann piped up, peering concernedly. "Your...nose is bleeding..."

It took a moment for this to sink it; then Wally glanced down to find a spot of blood on his shirt. He cussed violently, flushing furiously as his hands flew to his face and he dashed out of the room.

Robin's laugh echoed behind him.

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**~LE FIN~**

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**Edit:** ...Holy shit guys. 0.o I log on after a single night's sleep to find _11 reviews_! Thank you all! I'm so glad you liked it!

To the anon who didn't get the ending: Haha...try watching a few animes. ;D It'll make sense.

To "Loved your story": I'm glad you liked it, but I doubt I'll ever write up another part to this. Sorry. ^.^; This is a stand-alone oneshot.

A few of you requested translations, so here is Artemis's fragmented Vietnamese in English. Again, I used Google Translate and I suspect a few of these may be wrong. If they are, please point them out.

lo dit = asshole  
chet tiet = damn  
cứt = shit  
rối tung với cuộc sống của tôi = messing with my life  
mẹ là tức giận = mom being angry  
sinh viên but cô vẫn tìm thấy một cái gì đó để chỉ trích = student but she still found something to criticize  
này = this  
thang cho day đã đi làm = son of a bitch had to do  
tôi đã là = I was already  
bây giờ họ sẽ làm cho niềm vui của tôi, bởi vì tóc của tôi là màu hồng = now they'll make fun of me because my hair is pink  
do khon nang = bastard


End file.
